The lonely sheep

I just changed the name to this blog because i wanted it to be more suitable for a more national audience if i do have an audience.

The name that i picked for this comes from my own experiences in life and i thought that i should share it with you so you would know not to end up like me and know to stand up for yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.

As a very young kid i lost my mother to a brain aneurysm and for me who wants to see the lighter sides in everything i can honestly say that if i have to be glad about something about this is that she died in her sleep so she didn't feel any pain. So for a very long time i just thought that she was just at the market or at work and would come back soon, i wanted it so much, i wanted it to be just a bad dream but obviously it wasn't.
I felt all the fazes in mourning, at first was the denial, then came the anger i was so mad at her that she could leave me and my dad like that until just few years ago i was able to let her go and to say the final goodbyes to her.

Just after my mum died i started my school years, and what a hell on earth experience was that, i was picked on from 4th or 5th grade to 7th grade on a daily basis, one bullyer was particulary nasty, he would wait for me at the carpark at the school and start my day of pushing and name calling and there was three other dudes that picked on me everyday also...until i had enough. One time at chemistry class one we had syringes ( without the needles ) and one of the bullyers said something and sprayed me on the back of my head with his syringe and i turned around and said something don't really remember what and sprayed him back, that repeated a few times until i just said to myself " this is enough " and something just snaped in my head and the last thing before i realized that i was chaseing the bullyer i heard was the bullyer's friend said to him " run " and after that i realized i was holding him at his shirt's hood and my other hand was raised in a hitting position and he was calling " mommy " i didn't hit him ( thank god for that ) and i was never picked on again.

As the lonely name goes i've never had more than a couple of friends and i was never picked first on any team on sports class and i still don't have more than a couple of friends.

The lesson in this is really what i said in the beginning, no one else is going to stand up for you than yourself. Strong people will survive anything.

-jude-

Snowy days

For the last two days in here we've had a massive amount of snow in one night, my dad's brother said that it hasn't snowed this much in 20 years so the last time this was happening i was four years old little toddler.

I had to hand plow the at least 20 mm layer of snow not once, not twice but three times i can honestly say that i didn't have to wait to fall asleep for too long lol. I really don't understand what is so special about the snow in america? I'm so sick of this all white view that hurts your eyes if you don't wear sunglasses and yes you can go blind if you stare the fresh snow for too long, there is articles of that somewhere i know because i have been reading them for some while now.

Also an other great news is that i'm normal weight now! At least according to my BMI anyways. It's been so nice to have lost all that excess weight and find clothes that actually looks good on you.
But that's about it at the moment, yall have a nice February everyone.

-jude-

January's and workout playlist

nusound acoustics wishlist and guestions

What is your favourite song of all time. 

Has to be Linkin Park's songs numb, what iv'e become, in the end and castle of glass
Song that you hate?

Stig Roy Orbison ore what the hell that is called , drives me nuts

Reading, Lattitude or Download Festival?

i really don't know what that means sorry but i'm guessing download
Favourite workout song/ songs

Kelly Rowland commander feat david quetta, 30 seconds to mars closer to the edge, Taio Cruz break your heart and TOTO africa

When you’re getting ready for a night out, what gets you pumped and in the mood?
Definiately chainsmokers let me take a selfie and the black eyed peas don't stop the party
Who can you listen to on repeat and never get bored of?

The script hall of fame

Top 3 artists?

Linkin Park, David Quetta, Lady gaga

What do you listen to when your in a bad mood in hope that it will cheer you up?
The script hall of fame

Best album of the year?
I don't really have a spesific album that i listen
Favourite song of 2014?

Diandra onni on


Wishlist :

AktiMate - Aktimate Mini - Self Powered Active Two-Way Loudspeakers

Grado - SR325e Headphones

Sennheiser - RS140 Wireless Headphone

That's about it at the moment :)

hope you have a nice day.

-jude-

Smart shake shaker cup

So when i went to Oulu with my dad i bought a Smart shake shaker cup because i had been looking for it in every store in my home town but with bad luck so you can see why i was so exited when i spotted one on a store called stocmann. These aren't so expensive after all like i originally thought, just 10€/ cup.

In the picture on the left it obviously is in parts so you can see what belongs in it and in the smaller compartment is my sports drinks ready to go for tomorrow's workout. Like said it has two compartments for protein powder and an other smaller one with a divider for your pills if you happen to need them.

The cup itself has a handy thing ( sorry don't know the right name for it ) so your protein shake won't have any clumps in it, i had that problem on my previous shaker when i had anything nearer to a protein shake thing in there. Lastly the most handy and important thing in my bottles is that it is atleast supposed to be leak proof, i tend to splash that thing around a lot.

When i said i was exited i do really mean that, i had to play with it all the time in our hotel room :D. All and all i give this shaker a score from 1-10 an 9 because even though it is perfect there is still always room for emprovement.

january's and workout playlist

wishlist

My wishlist for January:

I don't really have that many items to be wished do to the last post i did in here but here is, well three of them, first two are Zaini hats that looks so cute and i do wear a lot of beanies like if you knew me you would know that i feel naked without a hat on my head, especially in winter when the temperatures drop to -30 c which it is today brrrr. If you like to go take a look at the hats that Zainihats has to offer here is the direct link to their website. I will try to make more of these wishlist things if i find something that i really want. :D

-jude-